In pursuit of a Muse

What a way to start the month and end a weekend with a movie. So I decided to grab a copy of Eli Roth’s Hostel. The OBB was in the typical Tarantino style wherein it makes one anticipate the whole movie. It starts with these three backpackers traveling to different countries to ease have a taste of women and good life. In one of their travels they get to meet an average guy who showed them a photo of of him engaging in an orgy. He informs that these women are from Slovakia and are always in search for men and would easily fall for them especially for Americans. So off they went to Slovakia. Where they’re dicks point to… that’s where they’re heading.

At the hostel in Slovakia, they met gorgeous women whom after having a drinking binge engaged with them in casual sex. The next day, one of them was missing. Then the following day another. Until the lead ends up in a hole where dismemberment is performed in each room. Unfortunately he became a captive in one of these rooms. And escapes.

What a bore.

Pardon me <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0744834/"> Eli Roth</a>, but it really sucked. Okay, the focus on the characters was good because the viewers would get to think that one guy is the lead but end up decapitated in the middle of the film. Switching to the other guy who ends up escaping death and getting revenge by handing <span style="font-style: italic;">a bagful of candy</span> to dangerous street kids. It was so pathetic.

I felt sorry for this movie, and so should you.

Runtime: 94 min / Philippines:93 min (cut) of my time was robbed from me.

My name is not important.
Nor my physique would have any bearing.
I was born crying because of the soft slap
by the doctor
It didn’t hurt.
I was just scared and felt rage.
Scared of detachment from safety.
Or rage from being taken away
from my comfort zone.
Come to think of it.
Those are my first emotions.

How dear it is if I laughed instead of crying
Upon greeting the world.

I was washed by rough textured but
gentle hands by a lady I don’t know.
Wrapped in white linens except for my face.
I felt confusion on why is she doing this for me.
And satisfied after.

At that short span of time,
I declare it was a roller coaster ride of emotions
I’d probably acquire in a lifetime.

Fear. Rage. Comfort. Satisfaction. Distrust.
Trust. Acceptance. Surrender. Excitement.

This might be the reason why we feel
Comfort after shedding a few tears.
This might be the reason why we feel
Lonely after leaving or being left.
This might be the reason why we feel at home
In the arms of a loved one.

7:45 am
My Apartment

I can’t believe this is happening to me. Fifteen minutes more and I’m about to say goodbye to my 8th job. Human resource just served me my final straw and they’re more than willing to cut me loose if ever I get late again. I know. Their eyes seem to peer on ever move and decision that I make. Probably they’re….

I just placed it here somewhere…..
On the coffee table? None.
Underneath the stacks of magazine? Hmmm… None.
Where the hell it may be?

…just waiting for me to make a wrong move and BAM…

did I left it at Kate’s’ place? No I don’t think so, Still used it last night.
A-ha! No. It’s impossible that I’d get it flushed down the drain? Could it?
My bag…Nope. Nothing in here…

…they’d fire me with all their might…

I think it’s in these bookshelves….shit!
Where could have I placed it?
Calm down. Calm down. You won’t be able to think clearly when you’re too agitated.
Last thing I recall, I locked my doors and placed it some….where.
The hell! Got to get to the office without it or I’d be late…

8:20 am
Office. 20 minutes late

Yup there’s no need to hurry…
I’d take my time to smell the roses and again bid farewell to this job.
How could I get so…..

8:35 am
Office, Human Resource department

“We already gave you our final warning and you didn’t seem to take it seriously.” she tried to be as professional as possible with her tone. “So I regret to say that your services are no longer required in this company.”

” I know this I coming.” I replied.
“So why this consistency…on being late? I may also be a friend, you know.”
” Cut me some slack. I’ve been searching for my eyeglasses the whole morning and before I know it I lost track of time. You know I’m blind as a bat when I got no glasses on.”
“I see.”
“So I decided to come to work even without them…and here I am being fired.”
“Without them?”
“Yes without them.”
“Well, maybe there’s one place you didn’t search?”
“And where?” she’s beginning to annoy me…
“Looked in the mirror?”
What would it be doing in the mirror?” Hah!
“Well have you tried to look in between your eyes and above your nose bridge?”

I placed my fingers at my eyes and it was there….
All the while it was there…

Napadaan ako ng Recto isang tanghali.
Hinarang ng isang matandang nakaputi
Umiwas ako dahil nagmamadali
Ngunit siya’y mapilit at humiling ng kahit sandali.

Tangan niya sa kanyang kulubot na kamay
Lumang papel iginigiit na aking buhay
Mahiwaga daw ang papel na taglay
Pagkat makikita ang aking buhay na makulay.

Ang kanyang sinasabi ay di kapanipaniwala
Tulad ng mga buwitreng nakikinabang sa mga taong wala
Ako’y natawa at tatalikod na
Agad niya itong binuksan at ipinakita.

At sa aking mga mata tumambad.
Ang aking nakaraan at duon nakasaad.
Mga kaganapan sa aking buhay mula pagkasilang
Hanggang sa nagyayari sa ngayon bumibilang.

Inagaw ko mula sa kanyang pagkakatangan
At dalidali kong tinitigan ang magiging kaganapan
Kung ano ang sasapitin sa kinabukasan
Ako ba’y makakaahon sa sinasapit na kahirapan?

Mga asul na mga titik naglalaman ng kahiwagaan
Nakasaad mga mahal ko sa buhay malapit na mamaalam
Hanggang sa tumanda puro na lang kahirapan
At ni walang liwanag sa hinaharap na mararanasan.

Sa aking galit di napigilang ipunit
Ang haharapin ko pala sa buhay ay walang kasing sungit.
Hindi ko alam kung paano itatago ang ngitngit
Sa kaawa-awang matanda naibunton ang galit.

Ngunit nang aking nasumpungan
Wala pala ako sa Recto at ngayo’y napapaligiran
Ng nagdaraanang mabibilis na sasakyan
At sa aking kamay ay muli kong tangan

Ang lumang papel na aking pinunit
Ngunit ang aking damit ay gulagulanit
Ikaw ba nais ng masilip?
Ang isinasaad ng iyong blueprint?

My soul is a farm.
I sow seeds and eventually harvest.
I protect it from pests and robbers.
Diligently never allow it to wither.
Feeding from the water of deeds.
How proud I am enjoying its abundance.
Storms dim its purity.
A drought withers the crop.
I then neglect its existence.
Leaving to wander to dry and putrid soil.
But after the drought you should see.
How pure as snow again it seems.
And again enjoy the comfort of its mist.

I licked my wounds and dried through time.
Scars left proof that you’re once mine.
Bitter taste to glance behind.
I drowned all sorrows with my cheap wine.

In my heart I always hope.
That you would change in time would cope.
How I wished that I would wake.
From these nightmare for my hearts sake.

At times I can’t help to look back then.
From happy mem’ries of our time spent.
Moments later I’m back again.
The reality is no more my friend.

And while you read a line or two.
Deep in your heart you know it’s you.
I’m screaming now these words aloud.
You smirk at this, I know you’re proud.

In spite of this I would not lie.
Feelings for you are hard to die.
And though this love was once for you.
I’ll for someone who would be true.